I have only been on three dates. Both, there were two boys, of whom, the boys were named Dan. Each Dan ended up not liking me and I not liking each of them.

The first Dan put the moves on me in the movie theaters where senior citizen surrounded us. And that was my first kiss I guess-If you call THAT a kiss-It was Disgusting! His breath was like Oreos’ and he drooled all down my chin. Even though it only lasted about fifteen seconds it gave me an excuse to the restroom: To wash the saliva off of my chin. I ended up having to go on another date with him. (I had already committed to it prior to our first date. I had no way out.)

The next Dan was nicer. He let me choose the movie and everything. The only thing about him was that he seemed to have a negative outlook on things. Also the fact that he was just plain weird stood in the way of making me like him even more. But even so I became superstitious against all Dans’, As I am with several things. Mostly sports. And now boys’.

This story though takes place in Mesa, Arizona. Where I travel to every summer to visit my friends and catch up on things. And also where my old house was located. A few months before my regular visit I called my old friend Megan. She was telling me about her “new” boyfriend-New because they are frequently changing- She was appalled at the fact that I had only been on three measly dates. Compared to her hundreds already. She mentioned of a boy named Dan who was her boyfriend’s, Josh’s, best friend. From just hearing the name, Dan, I knew that I had better just stay away.

Well, time came for me to go to Arizona. I could not have been more thrilled. I was going to the single best place in the country…….Mesa. I could not wait to see everyone.

When I arrived, I met with all my old friends: Megan, Brittanie, Jill, Ren, and one friend from elementary. Of whom I had not seen since then. Her name was Katie. She had blonde hair, thin, not too tall, and a pretty good sense of humor. She was a lot of fun to be with. She was also very pretty.

The madness all began when I was at my friend Megan’s house. She had announced that Josh would be coming over. And so would his friend Dan. I did not know what to expect.

When I first saw him I noted his eyes and his smile. He smiled at me. I had never been smiled at like that. He had a mixture of a red-blonde hair color. More blonde then red though. He was tall. He was smart. He did not have the well known Arizona tanned skin though. He had a paler color. He had a few small cute freckles on his nose, ones that you could only see when right in front of him. He liked to smile. He introduced himself to me. I liked him from the start. Only in a ‘you’re cool’ sort of way…….at the time.

We sat next to each other and watched The Simpsons. I don’t know why, but I fell in love with The Simpsons at that moment. He glanced at me several times during the show. I did not know what he was thinking as he glanced at me. I could not even read him when I looked at him. (Which was new for me because I am very good at reading other peoples’ thoughts and expressions.)

          I found out many new things about him just by listening to him speak and by the stories he told. I soon found out that he was not like the regular guy. He was so much better. He actually cared about others and their feelings. He prided himself in making sure every one felt comfortable around him. He had a sense of humor. He thought anyone could laugh regardless of the situation they were in. He was an extremely good listener. He enjoyed listening to other people just as he enjoyed when others listened to him. He never broke eye contact with you while you were speaking with him. He made me want to be a better person and made me feel like a better person by just being around him. And I could tell he had a great effect on others around him.

The next day he and Josh both stopped by. We were just about to leave for Young Womans. He opted to drive us. I rode shot gun. He elected me as official DJ. I was not well aquatinted with Arizona radio stations. But I browsed around. He seemed very interested to see what sort of music I had listened to, as he had noted to me. He looked at me again. I looked up at the same moment and met his eyes. They were gorgeous. They just had a certain glow to them.

After a few awkward moments, he smiled and abandoned eye contact. I guessed he had realized that he was the driver. He smiled at me once more as we left the car. I thanked him and we left.

When Young Womans was over Megan and I walked home. Megan called Josh to come back over. Dan was with him. We, Dan and I, talked intently for an hour. Well, we talked for maybe twenty minutes. The rest of the time we were quiet. We both were shy and we both were not sure what to say. We smiled a lot. It came time for them to leave. Megan and I walked them to their car. We watched them drive off.

A day later Megan and I were watching an old movie. They came over. Along with another boy. Victor.

We decided to go to Josh’s house and maybe swim. Victor had told us that he had made several water balloons and that we should go out and throw them at random kids wandering the neighborhood. It was fun. We had a few water balloons left. Victor and I were in the back of the car. He was upset that he spent all his time filling these up and we did not get many kids.

We were discussing the Crocodile Hunter. Another of my favorite, and now I found his favorite, shows. He asked, “What would you do if I threw this at you.” I replied, “You would not be around long enough to find out.” He took me seriously. No one had ever taken me that seriously before. I had felt bad for some reason. So I began to laugh, at this. He smiled. He finally understood that I was kidding. Without any prior warning, I threw it at him. He threw one at me. And the whole back seat was instantly wet. We laughed about it until we arrived at Josh’s house. We planned on swimming after Megan and Josh got back from their ‘‘stroll’’ around the neighborhood. I followed Dan into the back yard. He began shooting hoops. I really like basketball so I joined him. We began talking and laughing, a difficult thing not to do when surrounded by Dan. We played one-on-one. He was a really good basketball player. He told me I was good myself. Victor interrupted us. He started ignoring Dan and playing with me. He appeared to have never played basketball seeing as his game was so bad. I beat him…by a lot! I did not realize this at the time but, I started ignoring Dan as well. Not intentionally, just forgetting he was there. Well, after a while I realized it and suggested that we play Horse….together. But Dan decided to leave. I tried to coax him to stay but he just left. His mind was set….to leave quickly.

Then it came time to swim. Victor, I believe, decided that I really liked him then. And he also decided to become very touchy. And grab my butt many times. I told him, “No!” But, that only provoked him. Finally when I swam away and let him know it was a no, he stopped. -This particular part is not entirely important to the story as a whole, but I thought it was important to show the differences between Dan and Victor or the differences between the regular guy and Dan. -

Then the night that really stood out in my mind took place on a certain Friday night. Megan, Josh, and to my dislike, Victor. It was Brittanie’s Birthday Party. Three bands, lots of food, laughing and screaming….nothing better then this. Or so I thought. There were so many people there. We all got tired and decided to throw ourselves into the pool.

I soon found it was very difficult to swim in regular clothes. I found I had to use all my energy just to stay above water. After a few minutes of struggling to breath above water, I suddenly I stopped and I had this feeling, a Serendipity feeling, and I knew he was there. I just knew it and I couldn’t explain how. Since I stopped in the pool, in the deep end, I soon realized that I was completely immersed underwater. So I immediately got out and walked to the front yard.

There he was. Smiling. His eyes twinkling. I walked towards him. I was dripping. And then I noticed we were suddenly in front of each other. He smiled. I beamed. It was Josh who broke the moment. He was laughing at me. Apparently because he thought my outfit was hilarious. Let me explain: I was wearing a black cut-off arms tee. (One I use mainly at the beach.) My swim suit underneath, and white lacy Capri pants from Old Navy. My pants being lacy- and just plain see through at this point, good thing I thought about this before. And had thought to put boxer shorts underneath……my funny hard rock cafe ones that have boxing gloves. Talk about BOXERS!- And then I noticed his eyes on me…yet again. Josh was talking on his cellphone to his Mom. He was asking her about something. I quickly found out that they were going to his house to watch a movie…….Serendipity. He invited me too. Then he and Megan walked off apparently for a walk.

That left Dan and me. We exchanged glances. And I could tell he was laughing inside at me. He was battling to keep a straight face. We stood in silence for a moment. Then I ran upstairs to change. I noticed before I left I had no make up on so I put on eyeshadow and chapstick……nothing else!(Make-up wise I mean.)

I got in the car, shotgun again. And Katie was in the backseat. I knew that they had a bit of a background but I did not let that bother me. I knew she did not like him right now.

When we arrived they next to each other on the couch. Dan left space for me to sit next to him but I didn’t. I guess I decided that I did not know if I wanted to like him, and to maybe let Katie like him. During the movie she went and got a blanket. She draped it over her and Dan. I went and got one as well. I came back and sat on the couch opposite them. Even though Dan had left space enough for me to sit next to him yet again.

Time came for us to leave. Katie and Megan were dropped off first. Which left Dan and me. We were quiet. With frequent awkward glances. The kind of glances people make to see if you are the first to cry in a sad-sob movie the check-up-on-you type glances.

I finally decided to take a stab at making conversation. I made a statement that ruined the mood, “Oooooo do you like Katie?” His eyes met mine and he gave me a prompt response, “No.” The thought then crossed my mind that I had then said the wrong thing, better late then never. I decided to try again. So I added, “Well she likes you.” I had lied. She had told me herself that she did not like him. I knew it was a bad thing to say. Why did I say it? While I was pondering my pointless questions asked, He raised another question for me: ” Do you have anyone in Utah?” I looked at him. His eyes were on mine, somehow softer. They were sparkling. “….no.” It took me a while to say these words. He looked at me deeply, and I was incapable of looking into his eyes and talking at the same time. We were both quiet for a long time. Only Brittanie’s house broke our deadly silence. As we said goodbye and had our last look at each other and our last awkward silence.

It was then I realized that I LIKED HIM. I mean I have had “crushes” on people before but never like this. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to watch those eyes. I wanted to know those eyes when I closed my own. I never wanted to leave those eyes. So I stared at his eyes and he into mine. And then I ruined the moment and said, “Well, I guess I will see you.” And he shook out of it and said, “Ya…And don’t let Brittanie make you sleep on the ground again…” I could tell it was a nervous thing for him to say. Then he smiled. And I instantly smiled too. And I said casually, “Well she probably will make me.” Which was another nervous thing to say. I said it as if I wanted the conversation to never end. I could not get over those eyes and smile.

Then I got out of the car….finally!  And he said I will see you…..Another long stare into each other’s eyes and I said-breaking the moment again- “Bye.” And he watched me to the doorstep, until I was inside the house. That is a major tip for boys’:  Waiting to make sure they are inside safely. Just because it is nice, and because girls’ like it.

On Sunday I went to church with Megan. We came home and she fell asleep. So I went to bug Brittanie. I put on my pajamas like every Sunday and I was just listening to music and Brittanie was looking at her yearbook. I fell asleep. I must have been about to wake up because I heard something. Someone. I was tired so I just lay there. I heard Brittanie’s Mom shout upstairs that Dan was here. I didn’t comprehend what she meant because I was asleep….well asleep enough at least. And then Brittanie shook me.

“Brittina wake up! Dan is here! Wake up!!” I jumped up quickly. I was on my way downstairs, I took one quick glance in the mirror and saw myself. I was in my pajamas, hair all tossiled in a ponytail, and mascara under my eyes. But, all the same, I hurried down the stairs. I tripped a few times seeing as I was still asleep…. basically. He stood when I entered the room. As if I were the Queen in a room full of peasants. This I liked. He looked as though he were about to say something. To greet me. But this he did not do. He just smiled. I beamed…. yet again. He had brought a friend with him. I did not catch the name. We all said nothing for a while. His friend just sat there. Dan and I sat in silence. Both too shy and both not knowing what to say I guess. It was then the silence was broken; He noticed Brittanie’s trolls around her house. There are about ten of them. All about one foot, a few are bigger. She claims it is a Norwegian thing, but we all know she loves them. Let me simply describe them to you: They are wearing belly shirts. They are plump. They are a tan-brown color. And they all look somewhat very drunk seeing the look on their faces. So Dan and I started to poke fun of them. Then Brittanie came down the stairs. She noticed that we were making fun of the trolls. She quickly explained they were part Norwegian and blushed a bit. We laughed and poked fun of them a bit more. The topic began to be boring. After talking some more he had to leave. We had one more awkward moment at the door. In which, we both wanted to hug each other goodbye….but ended up with a hand shake. Brittanie and I ran upstairs to discuss everything. We did not usually say anything in front of her parents, who were in the room opposite us. She was so happy for me.

The next time I saw him was on Monday afternoon, Josh came by to see Megan, and he brought along Dan. His eyes greeted me again. Which was always followed by his smile. He came and sat down next to me. I was wrapped up in a blanket with pajama pants on. We chatted a moment then decided to watch Austin Powers. By the time it was over they had to leave. They came by later that night. We were going to go swimming but realized we were short on time for that. So we watched the Simpsons instead. When they left Megan and I walked them to the door as we always did. And she kissed Josh goodbye. Dan and I stood there. Looking at each other. And said a simple goodbye followed by several moments of awkward silence until Megan and Josh were finished. Then he left.

I did not see him for a long time after that. Well, long because I had seen him mostly everyday. I finally saw him Thursday. We were all at Megan’s house again. My friend Ren was there. Ren invited me to a sleep over. Then they came over. We did not talk much…at all. Then Ren and I left for her house. We left at the same time Josh and Dan left. We waved goodbye. Dan and I locked eyes which caused us both to smile. And then Ren pulled up to the side of their car. I challenged them to a race. Ren did not agree with the idea seeing as she just got her license two days ago. (Even though she has been sixteen for nearly six months.) We finally just drove off.

I saw him on Saturday. The day before I left to return to Utah. Brittanie and Ren were both there. We were at Brittanie’s house. She was on the phone. I was of course chatting on the Internet. One of them yelled out that Dan’s car was here. I ran down the stairs and opened the door just as they would have rung it. (Smooth right?!) I nearly ran right into him as I did this. He gave me that smile of his. I took him up the stairs. We congregated in Brittanie’s room to make her get off the phone. We tried to watch the Simpsons but since it was a weekend it was not on. ER was. My other favorite show. We chatted briefly then Brittanie came in.

We decided on going to Sonic. The cool Arizona hang-out. I was so nervous because it was my last night in Arizona to ever see him…for a long time that is. And he sat next to me. We said nothing. We had a few brief gazes into each other’s eyes and a few quick, but meaningful, smiles.

A couple of friends joined up with us. He scooted over closer to me so one of his buddies could sit next to him. We turned and looked at each other. Our eyes met. He smiled. I smiled. I blushed. I blushed a lot. I looked like I had just finished running a marathon. It was really hot outside and we all looked a bit hot and sweaty. And since my face was redder then everyone else’s I looked well, hotter then everyone else. We were so close to one another. Close enough to kiss. Our noses we only a few shot inches away. I pulled back a little. I decided to start up a conversation. We talked a bit. Then we decided to join another group of friends. Brittanie sat down at the on available spot….by Dan. I had sat down next to another friend of mine. Brittanie offered to switch me seats by mouthing it to me so Dan would not notice. But, I said no. She tried every excuse to take pictures of us. All of which failed. I was too embarrassed. I then wanted more then anything for the night to be over. After water fights and ice fights. I came out wet…..But Brittanie was wetter! It came time to leave.

          I sat in front. He asked me to play DJ again. (As he always had when I got into his car.) We exchanged many looks. Ones that were hard to read. Once we pulled up to Brittanie’s house everyone got out. I guess they thought Dan and me wanted to be alone. He looked at me. I could not read him. His eyes locked with mine and glittered. I knew if we started talking that I would once again not be able to finish my sentences…..because of his eyes listening to every word I said. I wanted to know what he was thinking more then anything. He smiled. He broke the silence. He simply said, (As if he did not know what else to say.) “Well, have fun on your flight and in Utah.” I said, “I will.” A feeling of disappointment filled me. He said nothing else, just leaned in and kissed me. Okay so that really did not happen. I just really really wanted to write that up because I wish more then anything that that was the outcome of the night. This is the real deal:

We pulled up to Brittanie’s house. Everyone got out of the car, as if to leave me and Dan alone. Dan said, as if not knowing what else to say. “Well, have fun on your flight and in Utah.” I said, “I will.” I felt my heart sink; Disappointment filled up inside me. Then I said quickly, “What time do you need to be home by?” Why was I saying this….why? “Eleven thirty.” Was his reply. I looked at the clock. It read 11:29pm. Disappointment. He asked, “Why?” I said, “Well I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a walk with me.” Now, why I said that I know not. My original plan was to go on the walk the last time I would see him and then give him my picture with my email address and phone number on the back and then I didn’t know. I could not kiss him or anything because he was too good. Too good of a guy that I could not ruin that for him. I respected him too much.

I did not want to do that to him. I realized that that was a very foolish thing to say so I just left and got of the car. But not before I looked at him once more to try to read him. It was useless. I guess that was what I liked about him. He was mysterious in a way. I could not know what he was thinking like I could with everyone else. I ran to the door, at which was the place Brittanie was at. I ran inside and was so upset with myself. I never looked back….I was too afraid. Why had I done that?

I went to bed shortly after that. I did not sleep. I awoke early for church that morning. I even thought that there was a slight chance he may come see me one last time before I left. But he did not. I think part of me did not want him to also.

So there you have it. There is no closure or happy ending in this. No fairy tale happy ending. Only mystery and mixed feelings.

                                        ~teena