Hey You,

How have you been? (I’m really not that curious to know.) I just wanted to tell you some things that I should have a long time ago. Mostly that, I don’t blame you. And I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t know what I was dealing with when I met you, I didn’t know about love and that I didn’t know it would end up like this. And hope that you will forgive me for still feeling this way after all this time. Sure we made some mistakes, they could have been worse, A LOT worse. And I have cleared them all up now, with everyone I should have and we have both gone our separate ways and are doing great now. I have a great life and know, more than ever, what I want from life and have many goals that I never thought I would want, and to be honest, I don’t really know why I am writing this if that is the case. Why am I writing this? Is it because you lied to me and I felt cheated, possibly. Maybe I just want total closure. The kind no one ever receives in their whole life. Please understand that I forgive you. I truly do. I will speak no ill of you the entirety of my meaningful life.

Understand that when I met you, I was naive and null to all the concerns of love, and life really. I never really lived before as I do now. This plea may sound quite pathetic on my part, but it’s difficult to understand how you really remember me. Do you remember me as the shy girlfriend who didn’t know what to do when you first kissed her? Who blushed when you constantly complimented her? Who pretended to fall asleep in your arms so you wouldn’t go home at the end of the night? Who laughed when nothing was funny? Who never slept for six months because of the butterflies you gave her? The girl who loved nothing more than attending your family dinners? The girl who snuck out countless times just to be with you and to hold you? Who supported you with EVERY decision you ever made even if others told you you were a fool? Who secretly left three hundred dollars in an unmarked envelope on your door step when your family was going through a rough time? (I never told you that.) Who also secretly slipped twenty dollar bills in your wallet, on numerous occasions, when you weren’t looking, because I felt bad when you paid for dinner? Who stopped at nothing to ensure your happiness? And who never knew crying until you crushed her? I was always that girl! But I never heard anything but regret from you when it was over. Am I only just that girl who is another one of your Ex’s that you think nothing of? I’m sorry I was not meant for you. It’s all right really. You owe me nothing. I wish I would have been better prepared for everything that’s all.

I hold no regrets. None. Really. I have gained much more than I have lost, even though for a long time I thought it the other way around. But truly, this is how I feel. Though I do wish I knew how to deal better when it was over, and I am sorry for some of the mean, hateful words I had for you. (That would be my only regret) You did not deserve those things I said, not the least bit. Forgive me for my insecurities and my flaws, we all have them on occasion.

Thank you though. Really. You taught me a lot. I know how it hurts, but I’m grateful; Grateful it was you rather than another who could have been worse and more remorseful in the end. You helped me through some difficult times and taught me about life. Nothing but good words will be my response when people ask why you disappeared. That is my eternal promise.

Now I just ask for one thing: My heart. May I please have it back. I cannot grow another. I miss it deeply and one day, I need to give it to someone else. You’ve kept it safe all this time, but now I come to claim it; Your time with my heart is expired.

Please do not feel bad, or harbor any terrible feelings or regrets from this letter. (You were never meant to read this, and I know you never will.) There is no need to write me back or ask me to wait for you, I won’t. It’s really over, that is what we cannot deny and we must grow to accept. We have grown apart, and grown up rather than grow together. And there is nothing wrong with that. What we once had was just a short connection that was not meant to last longer than a season, And it was one of the best summers I’d ever experienced. But as we all know, the seasons have to change. And only time and change can really tell what is to come. I’m sorry when Fall and Winter came I was too afraid to let you slip through my fingers and vanish without a trace; I kept you all to myself, when you belonged to her….but I do that no more. I let you go. And you let me go sooner than I was able.

I have great respect for you. And I wish you all the great things in life. You deserve it. You deserve the whole world and much more and you don’t know the earnesty that claim. I wish you well. (And wish you no more broken hearts.) Take care and farewell my old love…..

“Your Angel”,
Brittina