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Unfriendly…. Random Observation: You know, its interesting when I write. I vent for a while at first. Then I am nicer towards the end. It is actually exactly how I speak also. I vent for a moment. Then I move on to the bigger issue and solve, or tackle, the problem. You’ll notice (for the one person that really reads this…lol) that I’ve crossed some things out. Probably because they were mean. I try not to be mean. But I am more than I wish. So forgive me for it. I’m only very very human. And beleive me….I’m trying.
Its impossible, really, to even hold a mere conversation with you because you dont even look at me, or try to listen to what I say. Put yourself in my shoes please, and just hear me out and dont try to come up with excuses or justifications for your actions. Because when looking at it from my perspective the results and your behavior just doesnt add up. Period. Nor does it make any sense. Please dont pretend anything. Just listen to me and let me speak my peace on the matter.
Ive never done anything wrong in our friendships. I honestly feel that way. And to be honest, I dont believe that you would say otherwise. What you might say is: Well it just got too hard, Or I have too much to balance already, or even I have enough friends.
But what I would have to respond is: I dont require much of your time at all. Honestly I am very low-maintenance and in order to continue our friendship I just require that you talk with me once in a while and really let me know what is going on, What I can do to help or make your life easier. Really. Thats all. I want to help you both with your struggles and really be there for you. You both are very, very important and influential people in my life. And for that I owe an extreme debt to you. Thank you really for all your willingness and support with everything Ive done. You are amazing people who go do so much in this lifetime! I look up to you in so many ways.
If a time has come for you to move on and leave this friendship behind. I understand. We all grow up, life gets busy, things come up, relationships, family, career, school. But I just want to tell you both that if it is all right with you: I will always be your friend. Forever. And if there ever was a time when you did want to continue our friendship again. Or if anything ever came up and you needed me. I will be there. That is a concrete, in writing promise.
I wish you both the best of luck in life. You sincerely deserve all the wonderful things life has to offer. And I guess I should say goodbye now, since from my impression of the situation, that is what One would traditionally, and should, say now.
Farewell Dear Friends.. I will Love you always..
Brittina. |
DISCLAIMER: Artemis Fowl and characters are property of Eoin Culfer. www.artemisfowl.com
Artemis Fowl: What could have gone wrong.
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Artemis tried his very best sincere look. It was vital.
“Mulch, I know you risked your life betraying the Antonelli family, so I’d like to give you something.”
Visions of sugarplums and Ferreris’ flew through Mulch’s mind. But, he had to keep that same good guy thing going for him.
“There is no need. Really. . . . I mean,” He could not hold it in, “ There were many times where I showed incredible bravery and faced many accounts of mortal danger. . . put my life on the line for civilization. . .”
“Yeah, sure.” Artemis agreed as he untied his medalian necklace. “I know, this isn’t much but, it sure means a lot to me. . . and I’d like for you to have it. I mean, in five minutes it won’t mean much to me anyway. A little momento of our adventures.”
“Wow. . .” Mulch put on a fake smile, then half mumbled to himself. “Half an ounce of gold, Fowl. . . you really are fowl. You sure broke the bank with this chunk…..”
Artemis kept his same grin. “Sometimes,” He began, “The best things in life, aren’t about money or fame. . . .they are about lo-”
“LIKE HELL THEY ARE FOWL! Remember. . . Aurum est potestas. . . GOLD IS POWER! I MEAN LOOK AT THIS WORTHLESS PIECE OF MOLDING SCUM! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THIS GOLD? I MEAN WHAT THE F-”
“Mulch. . .” Artemis tried to calm him.
“AM I SOPOSED TO DO WITH THIS? . . . . WHY NOT SOME BAIL MONEY AT LEAST TO KNOCK OFF SEVERAL YEARS OFF MY SENTENCE AT LEAST?”
“Mulch. . .” Artemis tried again in a calm tone.
“I MEAN WHAT GOOD IS THIS GOING TO DO ME IF YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHO I AM, AND IF I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN BECAUSE I AM IMPRISONED FOR THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE NOT TO MENTION THE TIMESPAN OF YOURS?”
“MULCH! JUST TAKE THE DAMN THING!” He yelled in frustration.
Mulch thought for a minute. “You know,” He finally said. “I don’t like your tone . . . . . . And for that remark I may not even want it anymore.” He stepped away from Artemis.
“Mulch,” Artemis tried to regain his same calm tone. “My dear friend, trust me, this will be of great value to you.”
“SHORT!” Root bellowed. “Bring me the medallion.”
“Commander, this is just the medallion that I gave Artemis myself last year.” Holly voiced handing Root the necklace.
“Well, I guess that would be good to get rid of, it’s like two birds with one stone. . . because the medallion could have triggered Artemis’ memory.” He paused briefly looking deeply into Artemis’ calm expression. “Very well, he may keep it.” He said shortly and handed the necklace to Artemis.
Artemis held the medallion in a tight fist and thrusted it toward Mulch. Mulch finally gave in a took the P.O.S. present.
“Uh, Artemis. . .” Mulch began opening his hand. Artemis’ heart skipped a beat. “I think you gave me this piece of paper by accident.” He handed the folded note to Artemis. All, if any, color drained Artemis’ pasty, white face.
“Short, bring it to me!’’ Root bellowed sounding nervous. Holly took the paper and brought it to her Commander.
“MULCH…. YOU IDIOT!” Artemis spoke through gritted teeth.
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More chapters added on the way. If you have a favorite part in the book you would like me to make a mockery of. Leave it in a review and I’d be happy to attend to it!
August 24, 2006…………….
It’s amazing how you have to constantly teach yourself the same things over and over again….
I want to say that it gets repetitive and boring…but really, We just never learn the first time do we?
If I did then I would not be in the same place I was three months ago, and then six months before that, and six months before that, and five months before that, and two months before that, and six months before that…..
It’s a vicious cycle that doesn’t want me to conquer it. I really think that few of us ever will. Once we finally do conquer or out grow something, there will always be a new challenge before us beating us to our own victory before we can have any cause for celebration.
Now I’m not complaining about that. It’s a fact of life that I accept. And I do try to take on challenges and have my own private victory for them a lot. But then sometimes you realize a little too late that you thought you created a triumph when really you just ran…you ran away from it all and tried to push those thoughts out of your mind of a mere existence of what pains you.
(Now let me just say that it’s not really that I did anything wrong. But I’m not helping myself do more things that are right.)
I need to stare myself in eyes and look deep into my heart and my soul and really just explain things the way they are to myself and not try to change the things that are outside of me. I need really shout this and to finally come clean and tell myself:
This needs to stop! He does not love you. He never really did. It may have been what he wanted and lied to my face to tell me… But it is not the truth, it is not your present, it is not your future, he will never be him and he never was. It was all a hoax and I was fooled in the end. And he is not coming back….ever. So give up now in this fight that you will never really win. This may be harsh to hear. But I am not going to sugar-coat anything for you anymore. You are a Grown-up and you deserve to know the truth and really understand it this time. You cannot change who you are. You really haven’t before, but you must never get discouraged with who you are and where you are going. In the end, no doubt of it….You will win. Don’t let this set back discourage you. Give up on this fight with him and move on and conquer another battle in life. You make things too complicated… Life should be simpler than it really seems; Reasons and logic just make it look more difficult than it really should be. You can do this! You were born to do this…. The way it was meant to be done.